The move is less than two months away, and it has been getting more and more difficult to trust God with providing a job for me, and taking care of us and all the details when we get to Denver. I know He has a plan, but the fact that I haven't been able to find a job yet makes me feel like I'm failing, and He won't be able to work out His plan because I'm not doing my part. If I'm not worrying about our future and getting a job, then I'm not putting in my due diligence, right? If people think I'm not stressed, then they will think that I'm lazy or irresponsible, right?
I've been praying about this specifically for a few days and looking for God's answer in His Word, and He has been answering me slowly, which I'm starting to feel is how He usually does. Last night in Psalms I read,
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and He turned to me and heard my cry.
... Many will see what He has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.
... O Lord my God, You have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
You have no equal.
I can't say that I felt comforted, but I went to bed with the peace that sometimes I just need to wait on God. This morning He spoke to me further about trusting Him with the move and not worrying about job, money or relationships. My devotional pointed me to Matthew 6. Jesus describes how God cares for the birds and beautifully clothes the flowers, which are far less valuable than me. He says, "If God so clothes the grass of the field ... shall He not much more clothe you?" (Matt 6:30).
Then Jesus says not to worry about what I will eat or wear -- basically, my survival. My needs.
These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.
Why should I let worries dominate my thoughts when God already knows (and cares about) everything I need? Why not experience the joy of His kingdom, knowing He will take care of me? In My Utmost, Chambers asks, "How much time have we taken up worrying God with questions when we should have been absolutely free to concentrate on His work?" (Jan. 26). How much more will I be free to know Him and do for Him if I don't fill my thoughts and my time with worrying?